Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Gender conformity

My eldest is all about the pink at the moment... and wants her hair buzzed off with the clippers. The only downside is that some people will think she's a boy sometimes, which makes her blink back tears. She is going away to think about it.

She considered wearing dresses all the time, but decided she would get cold and sometimes not be able to climb things, which wouldn't work for her. And of course if she waits until puberty, her new body shape will probably mean no-one thinks she's a boy even if her hair is shorter than mine.

Meanwhile, she might settle for a very very short bob, much shorter than she has now.

I'm not totally clear on why it's so important to her, but I do remember my little sister having a gorgeous feminine pixie cut (because her face was so finely structured that my mother couldn't resist the aesthetic appeal of it), and lots of people thought she was a boy and it upset her hugely. I never had short hair until after my second baby was born, so I can't really compare my own experiences, but I don't think I'd have minded being mistaken for a boy so much.

It's her head, and her gender-identity, so I'm staying as far out of it as I can; she wants two things which she isn't sure she can have at once, and will have to decide.

Being six may not be as easy as she'd hoped.


Alternicity said...

We've had a similar problem in the past. One of my sons looks quite feminine facially if he has long hair.

People would say stuff about my lovely daughter, but he took it in his stride better than I did.

Or sometimes he'd growl in a manly/beastly way! We also considered getting him a fake beard but it didn't happen and now his hair is short.

Alternicity said...

Duplicate comment

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